Sunday, March 28, 2010

"No matter what your father said or the books you read
Maybe you should save yourself instead."

this will be again about the cycle of self-destruction i do not seem to want to break away from. i have established that i am not weak- that i can do whatever i set to do. i have proven myself sufficiently enough to be saying this with unshaken conviction. but in answering why i am still there chairing the secret meetings in my head to collapse the towers of my every day life, i cannot provide a sound argument. is this how it will always go with an unsound mind? someone told me i just need to peel off those layers of self doubt- that i see everything in pessimism. but i like to keep a tinge of black and gray in me- they are so much engraved in my name; i only need to keep them from screaming into their sister tone, and that may at times, admixed with my easily-angered-self prove to be beyond containment.

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