Sunday, December 27, 2009

rid of a crush though i have dissected as adult and sensible, still is a cousin to her giddy counterpart. it is just something i wish to address and shall have nothing directly related to what is to come in these subsequent lines. i am writing in thoughts again and if you frequent here you would understand why that is so. after all these time, i figured i would be less bitter and more accepting towards it, but as only human, i ache in my heart the thought that noone does visit enough to understand.

letting them flow as they please for i have no real purpose or story to spill. what i have is an intense feeling of remorse that so contains me that i am not moving a muscle despite the busy traffic in my mind of lists of things to be checked.

have you ever been told not to get too ambitious? like the many mornings i had my clock set to wake me up at 5 only to belittle it of its duty till 7? why is there always that voice that nags behind every scene of my healthy thought to instill a bad seed that never fails to eventually plant itself a tree that in totality blocks the glowing picture i initially painted? have i only that tiny faith in myself? so easily i overwrite good- with only a faint cynical giggle at the outset of being motivated.

and for every time that you write your heart out- has it ever made me feel better? when i read it back from a time in the future, i am reminded of how dark i am capable of going. just how do i describe that feeling to you?

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

11:49 PM  
Blogger amy said...

hey thanks anonymous!
for stopping by and for your kind words.

11:41 PM  
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2:12 PM  
Anonymous オテモヤン said...

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3:36 PM  

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