Sunday, November 30, 2008

wrecking ball waltz through

it saddens me to realize that i have in my childhood absorbed the way of how females ought to be forgiving- the way of the culture that i somehow belong to:

to say sorry- always, never failing; sometimes more as a reflex than anything. and afterward i torture myself with angry guilt.

to be a figure people form in their head of someone who will always be there to clean up the mess. i have been this many times and many times over. until i got hurt. i shall now serve the cold treatment. you should learn how to say sorry.

i am tired of automatic politeness and licking clean the screw-ups of others. it is a disease in me.

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